Loving him
by varomitriva
Summary: Clary is a troubled teen, but when Jace comes along, what will happen. Will she end up with a broken heart or perfect life. -all human story-lemons later on-
1. Chapter one

**A/N- hey guys, this is my first fanfic ever, so be kind, I'll update soon. Please review and let me know if it's any good. Or any suggestions. I've written ahead, but suggestions are still appreciated :)**

**CLARY POV**

Clary lay with her head buried under her blankets, tears streaming down her freckled checks and sobs racking her body. The constant knocking at her bedroom door was getting on her nerves.

"What. Do. You. Want!" Clary shouted, emerging from under the pillows.

"Open the goddam door Clarrisa Fray! I'm sick of your bullshit!" Her mother, Jocelyn, shouted from behind the door.

"Just go away, leave me alone!"

"Look here, Clarrisa," her said sternly, "you are not the one getting divorced, I am! And it's all your fault, so if your not going to own up to that and grow up. Then as far as I'm concerned you get get out of this household! "She shouted.

"I'll happily leave you, I'll just go move in with Simon and his family, since they definitely love me more then you!" I cried back to her.

"You brother, Jonathan would never have acted like this." Her mother mumbled as she hit her door once more and stormed off.

The last words her mother had said stung Clary. She missed her brother, so much, when he died it was like a piece of her was ripped out. Clary always blamed herself for everything that went wrong in her life, whether is was Jon's death, to her mother and Luke getting divorced. Clary hadn't had a great life, her brother died only 2 years ago in a horrific car crash when she was 13 and he was 15.

He had gone out with his close friends, when he was supposed to be babysitting Clary, but she reassured him she would be fine.

She had many disastrous relationships, mostly from her fear of intimacy, most guys don't stick around after that. All she wanted was a guy to stick around, and wait until she was ready, a guy who didn't car just about sex, but there weren't many of them around.

Clary and Jocelyn also had a very unkind relationship even before Jon died, she was always compared to her perfect brother. She was short, with no curves, long red curly locks, and freckles that covered her face and legs, she wasn't very active and was only talented in drawing, where as her brother was tall, slim, muscly, sporty, had beautiful white hair and deep blue eyes.

Before Clary's father left, he was a very violent man. He whipped Clary and Jonathan with his belt and wooden spoon, she has a few white scars across her back. She also remembered seeing him hit her mother. Luke had been the one to tell him to leave, he and Jocelyn became much closer than friends after that.

Now clary was being blamed for her mothers and Luke's divorce.

Clary couldn't handle all the pent up pain, and she only had one outlet for it. She walked into her bathroom and opened up the white draw, she opened her her markup case and slid her fingers between the cut in the side and slid out the shinny sharp blade. She sat down on the floor with her head resting against the glass shower screen, she slid up her long sleeved shirt showing all her old and new scares, there was no more room on her arm until the latest cuts healed up. She rolled up her pyjama pants instead up to her high thigh, there was older scars from when Jonathan had just died on her legs. She slid the blade across her upper thigh-

Three time for Jonathan's death

Five for each baldy ended relationship

Four for her father

Six for her mother hating her

And finally seven for Luke

By the end her upper thigh was slick with red flowing blood. The pain eased the pain inside her heart. She didn't notice how much she was bleeding until the blood started soaking her underwear above her leg. She quickly striped off her clothes and blasted and boiling hot shower.


	2. Chapter two

**A/N- hey guys, decided to update early! This is only going. To be a shortish story, only about 10-15cahpeters :)**

**(Chapter two)**

**Clary POV**

It was Monday morning, and Clary shoved all her school books in her bag including her sketch book and pencils. She ran out of the house in a dark blue long sleeved shirt, dark jeans and lace up ankle boots. She made sure her mom wasn't in sight and sprinted out of the house and jumped into the car. She drove to school by herself, Simon was sick today and he's girlfriend Isabel was looking after him. She got to school when it was quiet, she sat under her favourite Oak tree beside the large oval. She drew what ever came to her mind. She always got lost when she was sketching, she couldn't keep hold of reality and lost track of time. When she checked her watch it was 8:20, 10mins to class. She shoved her sketch book away and sprinted back to the the main building, just in time her grab her science books and English books.

She was walking to her science class when she passed the usually 'popular group' she put her head down and earphones in. But when a hand yanked out her earphones she had to look up to see the evil face of Sebastian. He'd been tormenting her ever since year 5, she didn't know why but he hated her. He grabbed her wrist,and leaned in close to her ear.

"Hey there midget bitch, got any more scars? Huh?" He laughed evilly when he pulled away.

She scanned through the rest of the popular crown and saw all the same evil faces, except for one, she'd never seen him before, he must be new. He had golden hair and amber eyes, beautiful honey skin, she could tell he was nicely muscled underneath his shirt. She couldn't read his expression, it wasn't evil, or mean, he didn't look down at her either, he looked rather disgusted, but not by Clary, by, Sebastian.

She quickly broke eye contact with his beautiful eyes and ran to her science classroom. She got there early and could feel her wrist throbbing from where Sebastian had gripped her. She slid down her sleeve slightly and saw the bruise already forming, along with a pinkened scars along her wrist.

She quickly slid her sleeve back up as the bell rung. The classroom filled up, there was an uneven amount of people in the class so Clary always sat by herself and did experiments by herself. The second bell rung signalling a last call. Everyone was in their spot of the blond haired boy ran into the classroom looking lost.

"Mr Hodges class?" He asked the teacher.

Hodge grunted at him to take a seat.

All the girls where looking at him with lovey-dovey eyes. He scanned the room for a seat smirking and winking at a few girls. He spotted the seat at my lab, he hurried over and sat next to me. I glanced sideways at him to get a good look at him, but he turned to look at her, his sly smile faltering as he did, their eyes locked and she looked away quickly, blushing slightly but her curls fell along her cheek to hide it.

She spent most of the lesson sketching a beautiful lake with a deer drinking from it, the starey night above it. She didn't notice someone looking at her until her glanced at the blond her boy next to her, he was staring with a amazed expression on his face at her sketch.

"That's amazing..." He whispered, barley audible.

"Th-thanks." She answered back, still awestruck at his amazing golden eyes.

"Jace, Jace Wayland." He said, meeting her eyes.

"Uh-I'm, I'm uh, Cl-Clarrisa. My friends call me Clary." She answered back, not being able to control her stuttering speech.

The bell rang, breaking the silence between them. She started packing up and get up, when she felt a hand on her arm, she instantly flinched away, she didn't like people touching her, especially from her past.

"Oh uh sorry. I was going to ask if you knew where this English class is. I'm new, and I don't exactly know my way around." Jace asked rather softly.

"That's my English class, I'll show you the way." I offered

He replied with a shining white smile.

Jace, she thought, what a wonderful name.

**Jace POV**

When he strode in the the science room with his usual trademark smirk, he saw the eyes of many girls fall for him, as they usually did. He winked at few, just to get their hopes up. But when he scanned for a seat there was only one. He took the seat at the back of the classroom, when he gazed beside him so see who he was partners with, he found a pair of stunning green eyes gazing back at him. She had long red curly hair, with cute freckles along her cheeks and was quite short. She turned away. During the lesson he noticed the red head girl was sketching something, it was a stunning picture, she sure had a talent. He introduced him self, and she did as well. Clarrisa, Clary was her name, beautiful name. When he touched her arm to ask her where his next class was, she flinched away from is touch, looking scared. Only then did he remember, this was the girl he saw Sebastian torment this morning. He apologised and it turned out they had English together. And spent the whole English lesson watching Clary as she drew and stared out the window and occasionally locking eyes with her when she glanced at me. I couldn't get her out of my head, I have never been like this with another girl, I'm more of a meaningless one night stand, some of them got clingy, but got the message. But he couldn't get those green eyes out of his head when it was lunch. He could tell Sebastian was going on about something, but didn't care, he really wanted to punch him in the face for when he grabbed Clary, he wasn't sure what he said to her, but he could tell it wasn't nice.

This is gonna be a long year...I thought to myself.


	3. Chapter three

**A/N- hey guys I hope your enjoying this! I've started writing another fanfic and will post it after I'm finished this one :) reviews are appreciated!**

**Disclaimer- Cassandra Clare owns all TMI characters :)**

**Clary POV**

As soon as Clary got home from school she locked herself in her room not wanting to talk to her mom.

She tried to ring Simon but Izzy answered saying that he was still sick and asleep at the moment.

She lied back on her bed and dozed off.

Clary awoke when it was around 7 pm from banging and clanking for next door. Clary lived in a type of townhouse where next door was connected, but separated by a single wall. New neighbours just moved in next door and they where making quite a racket.

Clary grabbed her sketch book and pencil from her school bag and went onto her balcony connected to her room. It was a nice and cool, clear night.

Clary had been drawing for a while when she heard someone playing the piano from next door. It was such a blissful sweet tune. Clary stood up and leaning over the side of her balcony, next doors balcony was only separated from hers about 30cm, so she could easily lean over and see into the double glass doors of next door.

Then she saw him, that beautiful blond haired angel from school today, Jace.

He was sitting on a stool in front of a piano in his room playing the most beautiful song. She never would have thought some one like him could play like that.

All of a sudden beautiful amber eyes locked with her. She quickly jumped back and ran inside her room. She was extremely embarrassed, she didn't plan on getting caught, hell! She didn't even know Jace was her new neighbour.

She went into her bathroom and changed into her long pyjama pant and long baggy shirt. She let her hair down at well, letting the locks fall around her face and down her back.

She sat at her desk, and only had one thing come to mind when she went to draw.

A certain someone with blond hair, amber eyes and golden honey skin.

**Jace POV**

Jace was playing the piano in his new bedroom when he could feel someone watching him. He glanced outside to where the balcony was and there she was, that red headed angel watching him from across her balcony, he assumed. She quickly jumped back and ran inside before he could say anything. He opened up the balcony doors and noticed a piece of paper stuck to the side of his balcony.

It seemed like it was ripped out and the corner was torn away. But is was a magnificent sketch of a black rose, where the petals where falling off looking cracked, the stem was snapped and thorns jutted out of the stem.

It was so realistic he thought he would actually be pricked by it. He knew instantly who could have draw this. Clary, his neighbour she also happens to be. The balconys where only 30cm apart so he balanced on his railing and stepped easily onto the neighbouring railing. He jumped down soundlessly.

Curtains where closed over the double glass doors of Clary's room, well he hoped it was Clary's room. So he lightly knocked on the glass.

It took a few seconds but, Clary appeared behind the door looking quite confused. But when she saw me she became embarrassed and a slight blush crept over her cheeks. She slowly open the glass door.

"Look, I uh. I'm sorry for spying on you. But your piano playing was amazing, I had to know who was playing." She said slightly nervously. Her eyes studied his body, down his neck, chest, legs and back up the his eyes. Only then did he notice that he didn't have a shirt on. He only wore his long Jyjama pants.

"No, no, it's fine, really." I smirked, when her eyes studied my body again, "see something you like?" I asked slyly.

She blushed more and apologised, "I'm, I'm sorry. But uh, if your not here to yell at my for spying on you. Then why exactly are you standing on my balcony?"

"Oh uh, here, it was stuck on my balcony, I assumed it was yours since I can't draw a straight line. And lately I've only seen one person leaning onto my balcony perving on me" I said with a wink.

This time she glared at me, but it wasn't mean, more playful, "thank you. I didn't realise this got ripped out of my sketch book. Thanks for bringing it back"

She went to close the sliding door but I held it open with my hand.

"Your not going to invite me in, after I just performed a death defying stunt climbing for my balcony to yours," I said with so much emotion, pretending to be heartbroken and shocked but I broke with a grin, as I pushed to door open more and slid inside her room past Clary.

It was covered in sketches, posters, the curtains where a deep black and her bed cover a charcoal colour. He walked over to her desk where he could see her sketch book sitting open.

The latest sketch was of a boy with golden hair and amber eyes, him, he realised.

Clary ran over quickly and shut the sketch book running across the room and shoving it under her pillow. She was blushing immensely.

"Oh, so you do see something you like?" He asked grinning, walking slowly over to her. She was standing just in front of the end of her bed.

"I don't like people looking at my sketch book, it's like my diary, personal." She said half to herself and half to Jace.

He didn't realise how close he had gotten to her until she looked up, and there lips where only inches apart.

Her lips looked soft and pink. He had an urge to kiss her, to be close to her body. He leaned forward cupping her cheek in his hand and kissed her lightly, at first Clary seemed to shocked to respond, but when she did, she put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He responded by pushing her back so she was laying on the bed and he was hovering over her. Their kiss deepened, as he slid his tounge across her lower lips and she aloud entrance. Their tounges battle with each other in the mouths as he slid his arms down so they where gripping her waist, her t-shirt slid up the tiniest bit and he felt her warm skin on his.

He pressed his bare chest closer to her. Her hands left his neck and slid over his bare chest feeling his toned stomach, abs and V leading down from his hips.

He started to slide her shirt up, she she suddenly broke the kiss and backed up so she was leaning against her bed frame.

He felt cold and lost with out her hands on him and lips on his.

"I'm sorry if I was going to fast. I am, really." He quickly apologised pulling himself off her bed standing up.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just..." She trailed off, then he heard her whisper something barely audible, "I break everything I touch." She looked back up to him, her left hand trailing up and down her right arm, "I think you better go. I'm sorry." She looked down again not meeting his eyes.

"O-okay, um, this was...nice? I'll see you tomorrow I suppose. Goodnight" she said as he made his way outside and climbed the balconys back to his room.

His body was still tensing from being so close to her, his body needed her. He layed down on his bed and tried to go to sleep, but the feeling wasn't leaving him, if only getting worse. There was only one way the relieve this pressure...


	4. Chapter four

**disclaimer- Cassandra Clare owns all TMI characters**

**Clary POV**

After Jace left her room she felt cold and alone, it felt so right having his body against hers. But when he started sliding her shirt up she freaked, partially because she was so self conscious, especially with her scars and because she was afraid.

She started crying and couldn't stop.

What is wrong with you. Your an idiot, she thought her self.

She ran I to the bathroom and grabbed out the sharp sliver blade. She ran it across her left arm several times until the blood started dripping into the sink at a steady rate. She washed off her wrist and bandaged it up before climbing into bed and trying to fall asleep.

She awoke that next morning to her alarm beeping, reminding her that she needed to go to school and pick up izzy and Simon. She chucked on a pair of black jeans and a grey sweatshirt with her favourite converse sneakers. She avoided her mom again.

She jumped into the car and headed to Izzy's house first, Izzy jumped in, her long black hair flowing freely.

The grabbed Simon as well. He still looked sick, but better, enough to go to school anyway.

She could tell both her friends could tell something was wrong with Clary but said nothing, that is until they got to school and sat under their favourite oak tree.

"Okay. Spill now, what wrong?" Izzy demanded.

Clary looked hopelessly to Izzy and then to Simon.

"Spill." Simon said.

Clary told them about Jace, how he was new, how stunning he was, he was neighbours with her and what had happened last night.

"I'll kill him!" Simon shouted

"No Sim, you don't underst-" clary got cut off by a figure racing up to her shouting her name. It was Jace. When he reached them he smiled to Simon and Izzy, then looked at Clary.

"Can I speak to you pleas-" Jace got cut off by Simon yelling at him.

"No you may not, Jace Wayland! Back off!" Simon shouted.

"Simon stop, please. You don't understand." Clary grabbed Simon by the shoulder and looked to Izzy, Izzy dragged Simon away by his arm.

"I'm sorry about that, his protective, his like my brother..." Clary trailed off.

Jace walked closer to her and touched her shoulder lightly, "no I'm sorry, I never should have done anything last night. Really, it's my fault. I just...well I was hoping maybe, if you wanted. Maybe, we could be friends?" He said not making eye contact with her and rubbing the nape of his neck nervously.

"Of course. I would like that" Clary smiled at him genuinely, Jace opened his arms, asking for a hug. She returned it by wrapping her arms around his torso, because she was so short and leaning her head into his chest taking in his sweet scent.

The day went quickly after that, Jace and Izzy where in most of her classes and she liked having another friend to hang out with. But she could feel Sebastian eyeing Clary, and glaring at Jace.

When Clary got home it was around 5. She spent some time with Izzy and Simon at the park until they started making out. Clary left, leaving them at the park.

She took a shower when she got home, wiping the dried blood from he wrist. There was no sign of her mother when Clary got dressed into her PJ's. She collapsed on her bed and fell asleep.

She awoke to knocking on her bedroom door.

"What?" Clary croaked out.

"Open your bloody door! I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm sick of you. Your pathetic, locking your self in your room, feeling sorry for yourself. It all your fault! Everything is your fault! I wish Jonathon was here instead of you. Your useless Clarrisa! Useless!" Her mother was shouting at Clary through her door. She kept going. And going. They fought for ages back and forth, through the door. Clary couldn't do it anymore. She ran onto her balcony, only one place to go, only one person. And he was already there, standing on the neighbouring balcony.

Clary burst into tears, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"Hey, hey come here, come here. I heard shouting, I got worried. Come here." He motioned with his arms reaching over to help her climb between the balconys. He pulled her into a tight hug craddeling her head with his hand and one around her waist. She flung her arms around him and sobbed into his chest soaking his shirt.

He pulled her into his room. It was so clean, everything in place, his bed made, piano sitting in the corner of the room.

"What happened are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

She shook her head and blurted everything out to him, her whole life, everything that's happened to her, including her mothers hate for her. She never even told Simon half this stuff.

By the end Clary was sitting exhaustedly on Jace's bed. He came over and sat beside her, arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Do you wanna stay here tonight? I don't want you going back over there tonight." He asked, holding her closer.

She noticed what he was wearing, a almost transperant white shirt, with long black pjama pants.

She nodded her head, "hey look, you remembered a shirt tonight." She joked with him. He responded with a grin.

He pulled the covers of his bed back and motioned for her the snuggle in. She climbed under the covers. Jace walked over to the cupboard and grabbed out a spare blanket and pillow.

"I'll sleep on the flo-" Jace started.

"Don't be stupid, this is your bed." She patted next to her.

He smiled widely at her and climb in next to her. She could tell he was trying to keep his distance. She turned onto her side, back facing him, but she felt alone.

"Cuddle me?" She whispered, wondering if Jace had heard her. The light flicked off and Jace snuggled up behind her and wrapped his strong arms around her body, pulling her close to his warm body. He leaned over her quickly and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Sweet dreams, beautiful." He whispered into her ear. She smiled and snuggled closer to him, drifting off into a blissful sleep.


	5. Chapter five

**disclaimer- Cassandra Clare owns all TMI characters**

**A/N sorry I haven't posted in ages! Internet problems -.- REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!**

**im working on two more stories :D I'll post them soon :)**

**Jace POV**

Jace woke up with his arm holding something, someone. He opened his eyes, and green ones met his, and he smiled.

"Morning there." Clary said with a slightly amused tone in her voice. He noticed she was siting up, and Jace's arm draped over her legs.

"Morning." Jace said half asleep still, but he couldnt help the grin that spread over his face uncontrollably.

"Did you uh. Have a good sleep? Good dreams by any chance?" Clary asked still slightly amused but also a bit uncomfortable.

"Hmmmm?" Jace asked slightly confused. Then he felt the discomfort in his pants, "oh my god..." He jumped up and out of the bed and raced straight into the bathroom, while hearing Clary giggle behind him.

**Clary POV**

After Jace ran into his bathroom, like his pants where on fire, she climbed reluctantly out of the bed. She noticed that her left arm sleeve was covered in blood.

Dam, dam, on no, I must have itched it last night, she thought to herself in distress. She glanced on the bed and thankfully there was no blood on the sheets, she ran over to Jaces cupboard and pulled out a long sleeved shirt of his and pulled off her shirt and threw on the oversized shirt on herself. It smelt like Jace. She smiled to herself.

She walked over to the bathroom.

"You alright in there Jacey?" She called to him.

"I'm, uh, I'm fine. I'm just gonna take a quick shower, I'll be out in a sec." Jace called out with a strangled voice.

"Okay, do you mind it I come in and brush my hair and wash my face quickly?" Clary always felt groggy when she woke up.

"Yeah sure. One sec." Jace said. She heard the shower curtain slide across and the shower turn on, "okay your cool to come in."

She opened the bathroom door slightly, steam from the shower was already starting to fog the mirror. She looked over to the shower, it was covered with a blue shower curtain, that was slightly transparent.

Damn, I wish there was no shower curtain there, Clary thought to herself.

She walked over to the mirror and grabbed a hair brush and ran it through her knotted curly hair.

She turned on cold water in the sink and and washed her face off.

She looked back up into the mirror. Jaces shirt was huge on her, she rolled up the sleeves a few more times and tugged it over her shoulders more.

She walked out of the bathroom, shower still running and thumped back down on the bed, back faceing down and closed her eyes. The covers where nice and warm, and smelt sweetly like Jace. She loved feeling so close to him, being in his bedroom. She didn't know how long they would stay 'just friends'. She felt so safe around him, he acted liked he'd protect her from anything or anyone. She always had a fluttery feeling in her chest when she was around him.

She heard the shower turn off, and the bathroom door opened. Jace walked in with a towel wrapped around his waist, chest bare, and damp hair stuck to his forehead and neck. Jace still looked a bit embarrassed but he notice she was wearing her shirt and gave her a questioning look.

"Oh uh, my other shirt was, um, itchy. I hope you don't mind." She said.

He gave her a sweet smile that turned into a smirk, " just can't get enough of me can you?"

Clary blushed slightly, "more like you can't get enough of me." She met his eyes and smirked.

He blushed and turned away, walking over to the cupboard to grab some clothes.

She couldn't stop looking at his toned back and chest.

"So I was thinking maybe, you wanted to skip school today, we could just spent a lazy day here watching movies or go out? My parents went back to the old house to grab the last of things, they'll be gone for a week or so. But what ever you want to do. I just, I don't want you going back to your place..." Jace said awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact.

Clary felt a slight smile creep over her lips, "sounds like fun. But I just need to grab my phone from my room to let Sim, and Izzy know I can't take them to school."

"Sure" Jace replied.

Clary climbed over the balcony, while Jace was getting dressed.

She jumped into her room and grabbed her phone off the dresser and text Simon and Iz quickly. She changed into some comfortable pants but kept Jaces shirt on. She went into her bathroom and washed off the dried blood on her wrist quickly and tied up her hair in a sloppy ponytail with a few curls hanging lose.

She climbed back over the balconys and left her phone on her dresser.

When she peeked into Jaces room he was sitting at his piano, playing, she could she a frustrated look on his face, he bashed his fist on the keys and they made a loud untuned sound. She walked over and sat on the edge of the stool he was sitting on.

"Well someone's a bit angry." Clary giggled.

Jace sighed and looked over at her, "I can't get the right tune, it's been bothering my forever."

"Oh come on, let's go watch a movie, the whole point at not being at school is to relax." She grabbed his hand and lead him out of the bedroom, "I have no clue where I'm going, lead the way" she gestured with her free hand.

Jace swept her off her feet and threw her over his shoulder, "yes milady."

She beat her fist on his back trying to break free, but gave up and giggled instead.

He walked into a room with quite a big tv and large sofa lounge. He threw her over his shoulder onto the lounge, she landed on her side with a thud. But the lounge was comfortable so it didn't hurt.

Jace sat next to her, and she sat up next to him.

He handed her the remote, movies showing up on the large screen of the tv.

"It's connected to a hard drive, there's pretty much every movie on earth on it." Jace told her.

She flicked through it and saw 'transformers'.

"Ohmygod, I haven't watch this for years, I used to love these!" Clary almost squealed, she looked over to Jace a blush creeping over her face for acting so stupid.

He laughed, "I love them, awesome movies" he smiled at her, a clary pressed play on the movie.

She lent her head on his shoulder, and legs over his lap, taking in the sweet scent of him. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She felt safe and warm being so close, the fluttering in her chest becoming more noticeable.

About half way through the movie she could feel eyes boring into her. She looked up and met beautiful golden eyes, she leaned up and pecked his soft lips. When she went to pull back a strong pair of arms went around her waist and pulled her fully onto Jace's lap so she was straddling him. He leaned forward and he caught her lips with his.

She went to pull back, but she loved the feeling of being close to him, she pushed him down so he was laying back down on the couch. He smiled against her lips. She deepened the kiss by tangling her hands in his soft hair. She felt him slip on hand into her hair and the other still rested in the small of her back where her shirt had slipped up.

The kiss deepened further when Jace grabbed her wrists and push her off him so he was laying over her. When he let go of her left wrist the sleeve slipped down revealing the scars, new and old. Jace stopped kissing her, he sat up and pulled her up with him.

This is the one thing she hadn't told Jace last night, no one knew about this, not even Simon, only Sebatian because he caught a glimpse one day and never let her forget.

Jace took her right arm in his hand as well and slipped up the sleeve revealing more scars. He locked eyes with her, looking pained.

He only asked one simple question, "are there more?"

Clary bit her lip and slid her her pant legs so they showed the scars on her upper thigh.

Jace took her arms and kisses up and down her arms, kissing every scar in her arms, then kissed the scars on the legs, "someone as beautiful should never have any reason to do this. But I understand." He slipped up his arm sleeve revealing some very faded scars on his wrist, "promise me never again, please. I can't stand to see you in pain."

She nodded her head in response and hugged him tightly. He pulled down her pants legs so they where covering her scars and did the same with her arms.

He laid her down on her side, and laid down behind her spooning her body with one arm around her waist and another cradling her head. Clary fell asleep in his arms, feeling safe and comfortable being in his arms.


	6. Chapter six

**WARNING- mild lemon in this chapter**

**disclaimer-Cassandra Clare owns all TMI characters**

**Clary POV**

Clary woke up with the pressure of someone sleeping behind her. Jace had fallen asleep on her, one arm slung over her body and the other underneath her holding her hip. His face was resting in the crook of her neck. He was a quiet sleeper, she could only her the occasional breath.

He started to stir when her rolled around to face him. His hands grabbed her hips and tugged her closer. She couldn't tell whether or not, Jace was still asleep or not.

She responded by moving closer to him so their hips where touching, legs tangled in each other. She slipped a hand out from beneath her the traced his jaw, down his neck, over his chest which was covered by a black sweater. When her finger reached his stomach, Jace visibly shivered.

She smiled, and brought her hand back up dragging his sweater and shirt up, revealing his toned chest, abs and stomach. She traced his bare chest, and back down his stomach.

Jaces breathing grew heavier, she though she heard him groan. She slid her hand back over his chest over his hips, down his long legs as far as she could reach, and slowly trailed back up.

Jaces breathing had definitely gotten heavier, and he definitely groaned a few times. She stopped her hand when she reached the V line, leading down.

All of a sudden Jaces eyes flew open and he grabbed her wrist and layed on top of her.

He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "if you keep doing that, I won't be able to control what I'll do to you."

She giggled, and put her hands on his waist pulling him closer. He growled into her ear, and pulled himself of of Clary. She felt cold and lonely without his body on hers.

"Ooooh, Jace. I'm cold now." She whined, stretching herself out on the lounge.

"I won't be able to control myself if I keep laying with you. Time to go out. It's lunch time anyway." He pulled her to her feet and planted a kiss on her forehead, "go get dressed and we'll go get some food."

She ran up the stairs on Jaces balcony and into her room. She changed into her nicest jeans, they where a faded black with a few rips in the knees and showed off what few curves she did have. Then she pulled in a dark blue sweatshirt, and her favourite pair of converses.

When she was ready, she checked her phone up for any missed calls or text, there where none so she left it on her dresser. She climbed back into Jaces room where he was sitting on his bed in jeans and a black shirt.

**Jace POV**

When Jace and Clary had been on the lounge, Jace couldn't take anymore, of her running her soft hands over his body, he was going to lose control. So when Clary went back to her place to get ready he quickly 'relieved' himself and changed into some clothes.

When Clary appeared back on his balcony, she was wearing a pair of tight jeans, that defined every part of her from the hips down. She didn't think she had a nice body, but damn she did.

He got up and took her hands in his and kissed her greedily. When they pulled away from each other they where both breathing heavily. He smirked and she blushed.

He held onto one of her hands and led her outside to his car, where he drove to the nearest pizza place.

"Mmmm pizza, yum." Clary moaned when they pulled up, she was smiling hungrily.

They got two pizzas and walked over to the park right across from it and camped under a giant low hanging tree, in the nice shade.

They ate the pizza quickly, and when they finished Clary had a bit of pizza sauce on her right cheek. He leaned over the whipped it off. Clary grabbed his hand and licked the sauce off his finger. Jace growled, and caught her lips with his and kissed her hard. She responded hungrily by wrapped her arms around his neck and siting on him so she was straddling him.

Jace grabbed her ass and pulled her closer, she moaned slightly. He made sure no one could see them, no one could, because we're they sat in the middle of the tree was surrounded by low hanging branches.

Clary started sliding her hand over his chest. He moved his hands from her ass over her the side of her hips and on to her thighs. He slid his hands down to her knees then back up into the middle of her thighs.

She broke the kiss and moaned slightly. He kissed her neck and bit and sucked slightly, leaving small marks, over her collar bone and right up near her chest. Clary's breathing was harder and to she moaned slightly. He guided his lips back up her neck, right underneath her jaw, and kissed and sucked there.

Clary started sliding her hands back up his chest and over his shoulders and pulled herself closer to him. Jace could tell, Clary wanted more than foreplay, but they where out in the open and he didn't exactly want to take her virginity in a park, under a tree.

Jace started massaging in between Clary's thigh beneath her spot. She moaned louder, Jace quietened her with a kiss.

"Oh Jace." She moaned in between kisses, "take me, please."

"Not here, not now." He kissed her neck slowly while moving one hand up more and messaging her through her jeans. He could feel the heat and a slight wetness.

"Jace, please!" Clary moaned louder.

"Shhhhhhh."

Jace picked Clary up off him, she looked sad for a moment, but he winked at her, and he smiled again. He set her down so she was leaning against the tree trunk. Jace slid Clary's jeans and underwear off. He spread her legs apart slightly, revealing her. He kissed her knees and slowly up her legs, between her thighs, and kissed her where she was wet. He'd done this many times. He slowly licked away the wetness and slipped his tongue into her.

**Clary POV**

Clary had no clue what Jace was doing to her, but it felt amazing. She tangled her hands in his hair when he slid his tounge into her. She was moaning, but trying to keep it quiet as she could. Jace kissed her and slid his finger into her, increasing the building pressure in her stomach.

He must have been skilled at this, because he sure knew what he was doing. He increased the pace of his finger inside her and the lapping of his tounge. The pressure in her stomach became to much, she reached her climax, she couldn't hold in the moan that came out of her mouth, and Jace licked up the fluid that she just released.

When he was done, she pulled up her underwear and pants again. She blushed as she remember the events that had just happened. Jace grabbed her chin and tilted her head to look at her. She met his beautiful amber eyes, and kissed him, she didn't care what the kiss tasted like, considering he just licked it all up, she didn't care. Jace pulled away first and kissed her forehead.

"You beautiful Clare bear." He smiled.

"Clare bear? Are we using pet names now? In that case, Jacey Wacey." He laughed and stood up, he held out his hand to help her up. She stood up and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked out from the tree, luckily there was no one around she thought, considering the amount of noise she just made. She felt slightly weak in her legs. They made their way back to the car and went back to Jaces house. Where she collapsed straight on his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.


	7. Chapter seven

**Warning Lemon this chapter!**

**A/N- I would REALLY appreciate reviews!**

**Disclaimer- Cassandra Clare owns all TMI characters**

**Clary POV**

Clary woke when she felt a pair of arms sliding underneath her and picking her up. She opened her eyes and met Jaces. He smiled and layed her gently down on his bed where he went to pull the covers over her.

She grabbed the blankets and threw them off, she stood up and slid off her tight jeans and shirt. Jaces eyes where hungrily taking in her bare skin.

"You don't expect me to sleep in those jeans do you?" She asked while slipping back under the covers.

Jace shook his head and slipped off his shirt and jeans. He slipped in behind her, spooning her body with his. She loved the feel of his warm soft skin against hers. She rolled over and faced him.

"Your so beautiful. With or without scars, your so so beautiful." Jace whispered as she faced him.

She planted a kiss on his soft lips.

His hands grabbed her almost bare waist and he whispered to her, "I love you."

At that moment, her heart beat quicker, she felt shiver go down her spine, and the fluttering in her chest grow more unbearable. No guy had ever said this words to her, and she realised she never felt like this about any one.

She whispered back, "I love you too." While drifting off into a sweet sleep with Jaces hands traced circles on her bare leg.

Clary awoke to the feeling of an empty bed. She stretched out her arm feeling over the bed, it was empty. She sat up looking around to room, it was empty. She got out of the bed, and walked out of Jaces bedroom, down the stairs to the kitchen.

Jace was looking through the cupboard, he didn't hear Clary come down so she snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his bare chest, he was wearing long pajama pants. She forgot she was only in her underwear, until Jace spun around and lifted her off the ground and sat her on the kitchen counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

He pushed her down so she was laying down on the counter, he kissed her stomach in between her breast, up her neck and finally her lips with quite some force. She wrapped her legs tighter and ran her hands through his soft hair. She deepened the kiss by opening her mouth where their tounges battled with each other.

Clary lost track of time, she didn't know how long they where on the bench until Jace broke the kiss. Clary put on a sooky face and groaned as he pulled her into a sitting position.

"Jace, don't tease me like that." Clary whined.

He laughed slightly, "I'm not taking your virginity on a counter, in the kitchen. As much as I want to, it's not happening."

"Fine have it your way." Clary jumped off the counter, and walked out of the kitchen and back up to Jaces room.

She rifled through his cupboard until she found a white button up shirt of his and pulled it over her head. She walked into the bathroom, she could see the black lace bra and panties through the shirt. She pulled he hair out of the messy pony tail it was in and brushed out most of the knots.

She heard Jace call her name in the bedroom. She walked out of the bathroom and was met with the sweet aroma of pancakes. Jace was sitting on his bed, still shirtless, with a tray full of pancakes, syrup, and orange juice.

"No school today?" Clary asked while walking over to the bed and planting herself on Jaces lap.

Jace responded by kissing her neck sat in bed for who knows how long eating pancakes until they got tossed onto the floor when Jace ripped the button up shirt off Clary. He ran his hands all over her body. She help the slight moan the escaped her mouth.

**Jace POV**

Jace and Clary spent nearly the whole day in bed, talking, kissing, eating, watching movies. They hadn't had sex yet, but Jace didn't care. He loved Clary, he loved being so close to her, talking to her like they where best friends, touching her like she was his and his only, watching movies that the both loved. There was nothing better than being in love.

"Hey I got an idea." Jace said breaking the kiss, but keeping his hands on Clary slim waist.

"Mmmmmmm?" Clary said seductively, while running her hand his his chest towards the edge of his pajama pants. She was still in her black lace panties and bra.

He grabbed her hand as she tugged on the waist of his pants, "noooo, as much as want to. Nothing like that." Clary looked at him questioningly, "teach me how to draw. I mean I can't draw for shit, but surly if anyone could teach me it you."

Clary brightened up at that and flung herself out of his bed, Jace pulled himself out of the warm bed and checked the time, it was 5pm on Thursday.

Clary grabbed her sketch book off the floor with a couple of pencils, and pulled on one of Jaces shirts that was laying on the floor. Jace was sad to see her beautiful body hidden under that shirt. Clary sat at his desk and motioned for him to join. He dragged over a chair and sat next to her.

They started with a simple tree. By 7:30pm Jace could draw a simple tree that definitely didn't look as bad as his first try but nothing like Clary's masterpiece.

Jace stood up up and stretched out, sitting in the same position for 2 and a half hours stiffened him up. Clary did the same, and as she stretched out the shirt she had on got pulled up her body, and showed her lace underwear.

He grabbed her from behind, and she squealed. He dropped her on the bed, back down. Clary smiled seductively at him. He layed over her, using one of his hand to hold himself up. He kissed her neck, trailing down over her collar bone, where he was stopped by her shirt. He ripped it open, Clary seemed surprised at his sudden strength and he grinned he her. He continued kissing over her collar bone, down the centre of her body. He messaged Clary's breast with his hand, before slipping one hand underneath her and unclipping the bra, he ripped it off her and the straps snapped as he did.

"Hey, that was a nice bra!" Clary said.

"I'll by you another one." He whispered.

He leant down again, Clary's bare breast in front of him. They where bigger than she thought they where. Clary didn't know her own beauty. He kissed her bare breast and took one in his mouth, while still massaging the other. Clary moaned loudly.

He couldn't help his arousel, as it pressed into her leg. Once he was don't with her breast and pulled off her panties and slid his finger inside of her, while licking and nipping her clit. He could feel her tighten around his fingers when he added another finger, he knew she was close so he pulled out of her, and Clary flipped him over so she was on top. He liked her acting so in control. She was straddling him. Clary bent down and kissed him forcefully, forcing his lips apart, she slipped he tounge in his mouth, while sliding her hands over his bare chest.

Her wetness was pressing onto his just above his hips.

"Clary." He croaked out.

"Shhhhh." She whispered pressing her finger on his lips, silencing him.

She slid down, and slipped off Jaces pants, leaving him in just his boxers. Clary touched his arousel through his boxers.

Jace growled, loudly as she slid off his boxers realising him from the pressure. He gasped as she took him in her mouth.

**Clary POV**

Clary was shocked when she slid off Jaces boxers. She didn't expect him to be so big, she had no clue how that would fit inside her. But she hid her shock as she took his length in her her mouth. She couldn't fit all of him in her mouth or throat, he was too big. He was moaning and gasping out her name, as she increased the pace of sucking him.

"Clary!" He gasped out.

Her jaw was getting sore. As if Jace knew, he pulled her mouth off him and flipped her so she was under him.

"If you kept going, I wouldn't have been able to hold it in." Jace gasped, Clary grinned in response.

She felt his arousel pressed up against her thigh as he kissed her hard on the lips, feeling her body all over. The tightness in her stomach was increasing. She wanted him in her, now.

"Jace! Please!" She moaned.

Jace continued kissing her.

Her grinned her hips against his, "Jace! Now!" She groaned.

He jumped off her quickly and grabbed something out of his bedside table. Protection, she realised. He slid it onto himself and climb back over her. He started kissing her again, as he alined himself at her entrance.

"This may hurt as first, I'll go as slow and gentle as I can. I promise." Jace told her.

Clary was nervous, but this was the boy she loved, she nodded in response. He eased himself inside of her, the pain was quite bad, she couldn't help the tears the weld up in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I'll stay like this until the pain stops." Jace told her as he wiped away her tears.

She was great full to have someone like him, so loving and caring. After a few minutes, she moved her hips slightly, and it no longer hurt, instead great pleasure rose inside her.

She gasped uncontrollably, "Jace, now!" She moaned at him.

He started thrusting himself into her, the pressure in her stomach growing. She moaned uncontrollably. Jace had his eyes closed and mouth slightly opened, eliciting a moan. He increase the speed she she put her hands on his hips and pressed him closer. Her fingernails digging into his back. His hands bunched up the sheet beside her head while she other was gripping her hip. Their moaning growing louder and louder. Jaces name escaping her mouth, as her drove into her with deeper and with more force. They both reached their climax together and released together. Jace pulled out of her and slumped next to her, still gripping her hip with one of his hands. She released his back, where she had scratched and clawed. She snuggled up against him, both still naked, but it was nice being so close to him, clothes or no clothes. She wasn't self conscious around Jace, he loved her for who she was.

"I love you so fucking much." Jace whispered in her ear as she snuggled next to him under the blankets.

She smiled against his chest, "I love you too." She whispered as she drifted off into a deep deep sleep.


	8. Chapter eight

**I hope the lemon was alright last time *.* I know this chapter short but...**

**Disclaimer- C.C owns all TMI characters**

**Clary POV**

Clary woke up next to Jace. Their legs intertwined with each other, Jaces arms holding her close. Clary's head was resting on his toned chest. She traced circles on her stomach, where the blanket had slipped off them both. They where both still naked, but kept warm by each other.

She felt Jace stir underneath her. She looked up, just as his eyes fluttered open and he smiled at her and pulled her up so her head was resting beside his.

He kissed her forehead lightly, "I love you."

"I love you too." Clary whispered.

He pulled the blanket up and over so it was covering her to her shoulders. He then climbed out of bed and slipped on his boxers. The bed felt cold and alone with out him.

He turned to her, "meet me down at the diner down the road? You have a shower and get ready and I'll meet you down there?" He asked.

"Mmmmkyyy." She replied.

He leant down and kissed her on the forehead before walking over to his cupboard with a full length mirror on it, and looked at his back. He had long scratch marks down his back, nail imprints still ther as well.

"My god Clary." He said while pulling on jeans and a t-shirt. She giggled.

When he was out of the bedroom. She jumped out of the bed, shocked by the pain. She sat down on the bed, and stood up slowly this time. The pain was still there just not as bad. She walked into the bathroom and blasted a hot shower. She climbed into it and let it message away most of the pain.

She climbed out the shower, and dried off her hair and body and pulled on a lair of jeans and shirt she had left in Jaces climbed back into her bedroom and grabbed her car keys, and didn't bother checking her phone, because it was probably dead. And headed downstairs to her car.

Jaces POV

Last night was definitely the best night of his life. He made love to the person he loved. Waking up with her in his arms was the best feeling. He made plans to meet her down at the diner down the road, because she would problem wanted to have a shower alone.

He had been waiting outside the diner for 10minuted when a familiar blond haired girl flung herself at Jace.

"Ogmygod. Jace! I haven't seen you forever!" She squealed in his ear.

"Stella. It's so good to see you!" Jace replied, pulling him into another tight hug.

**Clary POV**

Clary had the park down the street. She was walking up to the diner when she saw a blond haired girl fling herself onto Jace in a tight hug.

Tears instantly filled Clary's eyes.

I'm such an idiot! An idiot! Why would a guy like Jace ever love me, clary thought to herself.

Clary ran back to her car tears streaming down her face while driving back home. When she locked the door to her bedroom, the tears finally started to ease. She sat down at her desk grabbing a price of lined paper and pencil out of the draw. She wrote:

Simon,

I love you. You've always been there for me, through the good, bad and the horrible. Especially when Jonathan died. But I can't keep pretending I'm happy anymore, I can't go on living this horrible life. I thought I was in love, I though he loved me. But it turns out it was all fake. No one would ever love me like that. But always remember even after I'm gone, I'll always love you Sim, forever and ever.

Izzy,

Look after Simon after I'm gone. He won't be good at first, but with you there he will accept it. I know you love him and I know you'll look after him. I'm sorry. You've been a great friend while I've know you, I trusted you with my deepest secrets, always remember that.

Mom,

I know we didn't have a very kind relationship, but I know deep down that you love me, and deep down I love you.

Jace,

I hope you suffer knowing your the reason for my death.

Clary folded up the note and placed it on her bed.

She walked into the bathroom and grabbed out the shinny blade, she hadn't touched it for days. She sat down on the floor in the bathroom, and slid the blade across he wrist deeper than she had before and did the same on the other wrist. The blood was flowing fast, her life draining away, spilling onto the floor, and her jeans. She thought about her life, all her bad memories just slipping onto the floor. Jonathan's deaths, her violent father, her mothers hatred for her, and finally Jace, how he had used her.

Black dots started clouding her vision, until she lost feeling and everything went black.

**How could he? Hmmmm I suggest you review .**


	9. Chapter nine

**A/N- hope you enjoying!**

**Dusclaimer- C.C owns all TMI characters**

**Jace POV**

Jace started to worry where Clary didn't turn up to the Diner. He had been waiting there for nearly half an hour. It wasn't that far and it shouldn't have been taking Clary this long. He jumped into his car and drove home. He walked over to Clary's house, he knock and knocked on the door, there was no answer.

He ran there his house, up the stairs. He checked his whole house, no Clary. He climbed over the small gap between the balcony's into Clary's room. The bathroom door was open just slightly, the light on.

"Clary, thank god. I was starting to worry." Jace said relief flooding into him. It was only when there was no answer he became stiff.

"Clary?" He called quietly.

He pushed the bathroom door open and he was met with the worst sight he could ever imagine. He fell against the wall. Clary laying there, pools of blood surrounding her, the slits in her wrist, he near white face.

"Clary no!" Jace shouted while crawling over to her limp body.

She's dead, she's dead. No! No! She can't be dead. Jace hit his head over and over again, she seemed to happy last night, so contempt, why, why, why.

Silent tears started sliding down his face, the love of his life was dead, how could he go on with out her. He saw the bloodstained blade on the floor. He picked it up and rolled up his sleeve, he started sliding it over his wrist, deep, deeper then he ever had.

I can't live with out you, he thought to himself.

He lent over and kissed Clary's lips once more when he felt warm breath on his lips. He must have been imagining it, but no. Clary was alive. He now looked at her more closely and noticed that her chest was moving so slightly, but she was alive. He took the blade away from his skin and fumbled for his phone, his blood splattering on himself, the floor and his phone. He called the ambulance, they said the wouldn't be far away, they gave him a few instructions to do while the ambulance was on it way.

He grabbed bandages out of the bathroom cupboard and wrapped the cuts on Clary's wrist, slowing down the blood draining out of her. He sat next to her, craddeling her head in his hands, tears still sliding down his face. He rubbed soothing motions into her back, talking to her silently.

"Wake up. Please. Wake up for me. Don't leave me. I love you Clary, I love you so fucking much. Don't you dare leave me." He sobbed silently to her.

He heard to front door bang open and thundering footsteps coming up the stairs.

"In here! In here!" Jace shouted out.

Two medic came running into the bathroom, taking Clary off him, letting her off her.

"What happened?" One of the medics asked him.

"She. She, tried to-" Jace couldn't bring himself to saying it.

She tried to kill herself.

"And you?" The medic asked indicator to his wrist.

"Nothing nothing." Jace replied pulling down his sleeve.

"Your going to have to come with us." The medic said while walking with his partner with Clary in his arms.

Jace didn't care what would happen to him. He followed close behind, getting into the spare seat in the ambulance next to Clary, gripping her hand. The drive was a blur, all he remembered was Clary getting wheeled away, and them not allowing him to go with him. He screamed and screamed at them but finally gave up. He sat down in one of the seats in the waiting room.

Only then did he notice his appearance, his jeans and shirt stained in blood, Clary's blood, some of his. His wrist throbbing and still bleeding. But he didn't care if he bled out, he needed to know Clary was alright. Clary, only Clary.

A nurse approached him, "hi there," she said softly, "do you mind coming with me, I need to clean up your uh. Your, wound" she said uncertainly.

"Can I see Clary? Is she alright. What's going to happen to her?" Jace rattled out quickly while following the nurse to an examining room.

"She will be alright. She getting cared for right now." The nurse said while cleaning up the cut on his wrist.

Once she was done he went back to the waiting room, hours slowly ticking by. So, so, so, slowly. He only then relized he should call someone. But who? He didn't have any of Clary's friends number, wait. He did, he remembered letting Clary text Simon off his phone. He dug his phone out of his pocket and dialled the number.

"Hello?" A boy answered with uncertainty in his voice.

"Simon? It's, it's Jace. Clary, she, she. She's in hospital. Come quick, please." He didn't wait for an answer and let the phone slip onto his lap while sobs took over his body.

What if something goes wrong. Why would she do this anyway. Why. Why. Why.

It was eating away at him. About 15minutes later a boy with short curly drown hair and glasses, and a girl with long black sleek hair came bounding down the hall, Simon and Isabel he recognised them as.

"Simon!" He called out.

The brown hair boy sound around and ran over to Jace. Jace could tell by his face what the next words out of his mouth would be.

"Who's. Who's blood is that?" Simon asked he voice faltering.

"It's Clary's. She, she. She tried to kill herself." It was the first time Jace had said it aloud and it ate away at him.

Simon and Isabel looked shocked. Simon sat down, well more fell into the nearest seat, Isabel following.

"I don't know why. She was so happy. So, so happy. She has been for the past few days." Jace choked out.

"Is that where she's been for the past few days? Whith YOU! A boy she hardly knows. What the HELL did you do to her?" Simon yelled at Jace standing up, poking him painfully in the chest.

"I didn't do anything! I would never hurt her, never force her to do anything. I love her! I would never, ever hurt her!" Jace yelled back swatting Simons finger away.

The sat there in silence until Isabel's bop voice broke the silence, "has anyone called Clary's mom?" She asked quietly, hiccuping as she did from crying.

"I don't have her number. I only had Simons because Clary texted him off my phone." Jace replied.

Simon stood up ubruptly and mumbled something up his breath and stalked away phone in hand.

Jace could tell both Simon and Isabel had been crying, just like Jace.

**Clary POV**

When Clary opened her eyes, she was met with white surroundings. It stung her eyes at first.

It this heaven? She asked her self.

She heard the steady beeping of monitors, and felt something in her arm. She looks down and there where several needles sticking into both her arms. She also noticing she was in a hospital gown.

Nope, not heaven.

She felt someone touch her arm. She turned her heard and was met with glowing golden orbs. He usual golden skin was streaked with tears, eyes red. Blood, so much blood on his clothes.

Her blood maybe.

"Clary? Thank god. Thank god. Thank god." Jace cried, tears flowing down his already tear stained cheeks.

Why did he care. He was the one who cheated on her, or worse. They where never really in a relationship, he just used her.

"Get away from me." She choked out.

"What?" Jace asked, confusion taking over his face.

"You. You, are a lying, cheating bastard. I saw you with that blond girl. Her flinging her self on you, you definitely not trying to stop her. You never loved me. You just wanted to use me. Just use me, why would a guy like you EVER want me." She spat at him.

He looked taken back, "Clary, I can definitely explain. Stella, she's my family. My cousin for that matter. I haven't seen her in years, I didn't even know she was down here. I would never cheat on you. I would never even dream of cheating on you. When I saw you lying on that bathroom floor, I could bear it. I could imagine my life without you in it." He lifted up his wrist showing the bandage around it, she gasped slightly, "I love you. I love you so fucking much. If you died, I wanted to die with you."

She was shocked, so shocked. She didn't know what to say. Someone was willing to die, just because she did. Not just someone but a her someone, the one she loved.

"Why? Why do you love me?" Was all she could choke out.

"Because your extraordinary. Your amazing, beautiful, you have the best personality, I'm so drawn to you. I've never felt this way about anyone. And I don't think I'd ever be able to feel this way about anyone else but you."

She smiled, the biggest smile she could manage. Jace leaned forward and planted his lips on hers. They broke the kiss when they heard someone clearing their throat. Clary blushed deeply when she saw her mum standing in the door way.

"I'll take that as my cue to leave. I'm gonna race home and uh, change. I'll be back later." Jace promised while slipping past my mother.

Clary turned away as he mom took a seat next to her. But Clary's complete shock, he mom grabbed her hand and held it firmly. Clary turned and met her moms eyes, she wasn't angry, nor disappointed, she looked upset, like shed been crying.

"I found your note. I threw it away before anyone else found it. What ever you think about me isn't true. I don't hate you, I've never hated you Clary. I love you with all my heart and always have. I know I'm so horrible to you. I don't mean to be. I don't mean to take it out on you. I'm sorry for blaming everything on you, especially comparing you to Jon. I never should have. It's my fault for me and Luke, I wasn't focused on your marriage. And I'm sorry for what your father did to you and Jon. I tried to stop it, so many times, but he just hit me harder and harder. I love you Clary. I should have been there for you, especially when Jon died." By the end her mother was sobbing out ther words.

Clary felt weak, and tears where streaming down her checks, she was wordless, so she forced her self up and pulled her mom into a hug. A tight hug, she didn't know how long it lasted. But when they broke apart Clary's arms hurt.

"So, who's the spunk you where kissing before." Her mom asked with a wink.

"You did not just say Spunk. No one says spunk. And I mean no one." Clary laughed.

Her and Jocelyn talked for hours and until Simon and Izzy practically pushed her out the door. They hugged and talked, and cried for a hour or so until Clary was drifting off to sleep. They left her room, promising to be back tomorrow. Just before she felt asleep she felt someone's hand over hers, and a sweet voice, Jace.

She drifted off into a sweet sleep. Happier than she'd ever been. She had someone who loved her, a mom who cared about her, the best friends anyone could ask for. What could go wrong?

**okay guys. I need help on how to end this! Ideas PLEASE!**


	10. Chapter ten

**A/N- never been very good at ending but hope you enjoyed! I'm writing about four other fanfiction right now :P**

**Clary POV**

Everything had been great since Clary left the hospital, with quite some difficulty. They insisted she be out in the physc' ward, but after her mom absolutely abused the nurses and doctor they let Clary go, not wanting to face her moms wrath anymore.

Jace insisted on being EVERYWHERE Clary went. He practically lived with her. He never left her side. When Clary goes back to school tomorrow he is going to insist that he is changed into every single of her classes. She loved how protective he was with her.

It was 11pm at night the day before she has to go back to school.

"I don't want to though. I love lounging around here with you." Clary was whining to Jace.

Jace sat down next to her on her bed, "I know, trust me I do. All I want to do is stay in bed all day with you."

Clary blushed, she still couldn't help the effect he had against her.

A short while after the fell asleep in each other arms.

Clary awoke the next morning to an alarm beeping in her ear. She looked up to her alarm clock, it read 7am.

"Ugggghhhh." Clary hit it so it stopped beeping.

She rolled over to face Jace. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Like a golden angel, his golden hair, eyebrows, honey golden skin, bare toned chest and just in his boxers... Maybe if she just lay her head on his chest very slowly he won't wake up. She did just that and he didn't seem to stir.

"Not that easy. Up you get." Jace mumbled jumping out of the bed pulling her with him.

"I don't wanna though." Clary moaned.

It took Clary an hour to get ready and dressed, Jace met her down at her car.

"Chop chop, where gonna be late. I still have to argue with the administration ladies to let me be in your classes." Jace said while jumping in her car.

It didn't take long to get to school and once they where there they went straight to the office. Jace was arguing for quite a while until it reached 9:30. They decided that we missed out on an hour of class and Jace was not going to leave without room changes.

"Your so persistent." Clary giggled while they headed to there classes together, extremely late.

"Is that why your my girlfriend?" He asked pulling her to his side while they walked.

"Aw, what a cute scene this is." Clary heard a spine shivering voice say.

Sebastian slipped out from the shadows in the hallway.

"Where have you been hey? Taking so much time off school. Hmmm?" He asked while walking closer.

Clary immediately shrunk away as she usually did. But strong arms pushed her behind Jace. Jace stepped forward.

"Back off." Jace said shoving Sebastian away.

"No one touches me!" Sebastian shouted swinging his fist at Jaces head.

Clary squealed but before his fist connected, Jace had caught his fist in his hand. Jace swung his fist straight into Sebastian's jaw, she heard a crack as his fist connected. Jace grabbed Sebastian shirt and leaned close, "you ever come near Clary again, I'll do more than break your jaw." With that he pushed Sebastian to the ground. Blood dripping from his mouth and jaw.

With that he and Clary walked to class not saying a word.

The day went quickly, especially having Jace in every class with her, they couldn't help but flirt, and Clary drew Jace during class.

All was great, Jace and Simon got along well, Clary was happy.

The scars would always be there reminding her of everything, but in a way they helped her get through. Reminding her that someone loved her, and helped her through bad times. Someone that couldn't live without her.

**A/N- I'll post a bit later about what fanfiction I will be posting next! :)**


	11. please read!

Okay guys! I haven't decided on what fan fiction to post nextN help me out here! I have several!

-After Clary goes through family tragedy and moves away into an apartment with a seemingly normal womaniser, what will happen when she fall for him. Clace. Lemons.

- Clary's sick of being Sebastian's girlfriend and being in the popular posse. Her only real friend is Isabelle and Simon who she doesn't get to see. What will change when a golden haired angel turns up at school one day? Clace. Lemons.

- Clary's always been bullied by her best friend Isabelles brother, Jace. What happens when his moods start acting up. Then Sebastian turns up, seeming as a normal sweet boy, but what will happen when Jace is there to save the day? Clace. Lemons.

- Rikki's just a girl who loves to hang out with guys. She's the one that starts the fights at school. She doesn't have to best temperament. Rikki goes through the normal bullying from Brittany, Queen bee. Rikki beats Brittany up pretty bad one day. But what will happen when Brittany gets her revenge? Will Rikki give up? Leave the life she loves? Leave her friends? Her boyfriend? Lemons.

- Clary and Isabelle live together after leaving school and moving far away. When the seemingly normal neighbour moves in, Clary's past come to haunt her. Should she trust this guy or not? Clace. Lemons.

Im never good a those thingies! But please help me chose which one to chose! Thanks xx


	12. Read!

Okay guys! I will be posting another fanfiction SOON! Promise! I just want to re-write a little and make it sound better :)

be patient ;)


	13. PLEASE READ

**Hey guys! For those of you who don't know, I've posted my new story! Please read, and review it! **


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